Whatsup Blondie?

A 10-foot-tall, totally hairy trespasser on your property isn't the norm. Unless it's Bigfoot. Well, that's what Tim Peeler claims he chased away from his North Carolina mountain house last week. Peeler told NewsChannel36 in Charlotte that he first heard unusual grunting and screeching outside his home. When he investigated the sounds, he said, he got close enough to the unwelcome intruder to poke it with a stick. "The thing was 10 feet tall with beautiful hair, yellowish hair, and a yellow beard," the mountain man recalled.

According to Peeler, who lives on top of a mountain near Casar, N.C., the creature left, but it later returned. He yelled at his unwanted visitor again, he said, and it finally took off. Peeler also noticed the beast had six fingers. Peeler reported that the "beast" approached his dogs and somehow got wrapped up in their chains. "I rough-talked him and said, 'You get away from here.'"

WBTV.com said that Peeler called 911 at 3 a.m. and filed a suspicious person report. "It looked like a giant ape with a man's face, and it made a whistling sound," he told the 911 dispatcher. He was about nine or 10 feet tall with real long arms."

In his 911 call, Peeler added that "This thing was messin' with my dogs and tryin' to get to my back porch. If he comes too close to me, I'm gonna kill him. "Would I get in any trouble if I shot and killed this beast, this animal or whatever it is?"

That's a good question, and one the 911 dispatcher couldn't answer.

Can you believe it? Bigfoot is blonde! This is one of the better stories I've read in a long time. I now know that Bigfoot is blonde, 10 feet tall, and has six fingers on each hand. My favorite part of this article is when the redneck says he "rough talked" Bigfoot. Because when a stubby hick rough talks Bigfoot with lines like "You get away from here," Bigfoot knows to run. Who wants to mess with a redneck with a stick and slightly aggressive statements?

Oh and let me clear something up. If you see Bigfoot you shoot him. I think that should be a given. If you see a 10 foot monkey man walk out of the woods; you don't shake a stick at him, you kill him. Otherwise, you're just another crazy hick.