Cabernet From Cleavage Valley

There’s now a perfect gift for the girl who has everything -- including a desire to secretly drink while simultaneously getting a breast lift, the New York Daily News reported Thursday.

The Wine Rack, a sports bra with a plastic “bladder” that can hold an entire bottle of wine, is featured at the BaronBob.com website. “You won’t find this at Victoria’s Secret,” Paul Krasulja of BaronBob boasted to the paper.

“I don’t consider it fine looking lingerie. But it is a good looking piece.”

He won’t get many arguments about the good looking part. Basically the $29.95 device is a black sports bra with a polyurethane bladder inside and a drinking tube long enough to sip from. Add liquid, and the website promises you will “turn an A cup into double D’s.”

And where, exactly, would you want to sport this piece of equipment? The website suggests filling it with wine or cocktails and wearing it to “movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings.”

Are you a lonely housewife who loves to drink and also wishes she had fuller breasts? Are you a high school girl that loves to be drunk at every social event and also really wants bigger boobs? Are you a female alcoholic looking for a way to drink and have larger ta ta's at the same time!? If so, then the "The Wine Rack" is for you!

I think that this product has a major flaw. The woman starts with double D's and as she gets drunker they go back down to A's. If everyone else is sober, then a man will sure as hell notice when a girl with double D's suddenly becomes flat chested.

But I do love that they are marketing this for women who are forced to go to sporting events they are pretending to like. Then there are the PTA meetings, which without a bottle of wine to slug down must be unbearable. Stupid kids, cutting into mommy's drinking.

This Seems Uncomfortable

"Cyclists around the globe jumped out of their trousers and on to their bikes for the World Naked Bike Ride last Saturday, an annual gathering in which bikers celebrate the human body while protesting against cars and oil dependence. Bike riders disrobed in demonstrations in Mexico City, Montreal, Madrid, Paris and Cape Town, South Africa, among other cities, in eye-catching parades intended to draw attention to cycling rights and environmental plights, like the ongoing oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico."

This is why I'm not such a big fan of people. This is a stupid thing to do. Why do these people ride their bikes naked? Why? It's simple. It's because they're stupid and they think that when they ride their bikes through NYC other people, clothed people, will think about their cause. There is no way anyone thinks about anything other than the gross naked person they just saw. When they tell the story later they will say, "I saw a naked guy on a bike. It looked really uncomfortable." So good work guys. Everyone now knows that they should pay attention to some policy about religion or something or maybe it was a restriction on rights for your testicles to be free. Could have been gay rights. Who knows?

Seismic Activity

(April 26) -- Women across the country are showing a little skin today to prove they aren't responsible for recent earthquakes.

After Iranian cleric Hojatoleslam Kazem Sedighi claimed "women who do not dress modestly" cause earthquakes, a Purdue University senior rallied up her gals -- and thousands of other women -- to show the world they can't be blamed for seismic activity.

"When I heard what the Iranian cleric had said, I thought it was ridiculous -- but it was also something we could test scientifically," Jennifer McCreight told WGN.

McCreight took to her blog, Blag Hag, to urge women to show some cleavage for an experiment she dubbed a "Boobquake."

More than 200,000 people have responded on Facebook to say that they will participate in Boobquake events in West Lafayette, Ind., and Washington, D.C., today.

And although some critics have said the event objectifies women, McCreight -- who posted a photo of her Boobquake outfit on Twitter -- says she has supporters from around the globe.

"I've actually received lots of e-mails from people in Iran who said that they love the idea," she said.

I love a good boobquake. I don't know why there aren't more of them. Good job Jen. You sure showed that Iranian! I'm sure you really pissed him off, not to mention got a bunch of girls to shake their boobs around for a pointless experiment. You've made thousands of men unbelievably happy. I wasn't lucky enough to see anyone participating in the boobquake but I thank you on behalf of all men.

Oh by the way Jen, I heard Iranians believe that sex causes blindness. I trust you will know what to do to prove them wrong.