Step Away From the Bacon

"Rainbow Bacon was invented by Neil Caldwell,"

"You can now accent any dish with a colorful array of bacon, presumably soaked in some sort of dye."

I've made my thoughts on Bacon clear before. I love bacon and think it is an amazing compliment to breakfast, lunch, and dinner. But I also believe that bacon is fine just the way it is. I've almost converted vegans back to meat because of bacon. That's how good bacon is. But for some reason people keep trying to change this delectable fatty meat.

There must be a guy hired to help bacon expand into areas of the market it doesn't belong (like chocolate bacon or baconaise) and he needs to relax. There is no need for rainbow bacon. Listen to me bacon man! Don't you remember the colored ketchups Heinz came out with? If you don't remember, that makes sense because they were shit. I was a kid when they came out and I didn't think they were cool. Kids aren't going to like rainbow bacon, chefs aren't going to like rainbow bacon, and adults are too set in their ways to buy a pack of rainbow bacon. So, bacon man, why don'y you focus on converting vegetarians and vegans back to meat, or at least back to bacon, before you start soaking the best part of any meal in food coloring.