No New Ideas

I've heard a lot lately from critics and non-critics alike that Hollywood is out of original ideas. Though, I'm sure the people who claim that Hollywood is out of fresh ideas are simply repeating something they heard on TV. Much like the pompous friend we all have that iterates thoughts from an article they read in the NY Times as if they discovered these new facts and ideas themselves.

Anyway, back to my original point. I've heard a lot about the lack of originality from Hollywood and I've dismissed it as much as I could. But I've come across something today that has brought about a feeling I can only describe with "tisk-tisk" and "Really?"

A favorite childhood board game of mine, Battleship, is being made into a movie in which Rhianna will start her acting career. (Quick thought: Do children play board games anymore?)



"Battleship" offers a fresh take on the classic board game, where naval forces unite on the high seas to battle an alien armada. Taylor Kitsch ("Friday Night Lights") and Alexander Skarsgard ("True Blood") have already been cast as two sailor brothers who partake in the fight.



I can see it now. One battleship full of people will discuss where they should fire because they know there's someone out there... but they don't know where exactly. Meanwhile on a different battleship, far away (somewhere near A5), another group will be discussing the same thing. The two groups will fire into the distance until they find their target, all the while leaving the viewer with a feeling of hopelessness and loss.

Quite possibly one of the least exciting ideas for a movie yet. Battleship does not need a "fresh take" and it does not even need a movie. It's as if execs in Hollywood are sitting around saying to one another, "Name some things that exist already."

"Fast and the Furious?"

"Sure why not? We can make a fifth one. What else?"

"Pirates movie."

"Good Good. Keep 'em coming.

"We could do The Smurfs but make it 3D."

"Great we just need one more."

"Let's make a board game, like battleship, into a movie."

"Great! I'll get Liam Neeson on the phone."


But at least it will be starring Rihanna and Brooklyn Decker, who I'm sure will be wearing very limited amounts of clothing.