Learn to Laugh

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Comedian to Watch

I know it's been a while since my last comedian post but this guy is great. His name is Brian Regan. He has a very unique voice with some kind of accent and head bob that you can't help but laugh at. I've posted two of his links below. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUU9CqrtFiU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9em-ZCddWk&feature=related

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Whatsup Blondie?

A 10-foot-tall, totally hairy trespasser on your property isn't the norm. Unless it's Bigfoot. Well, that's what Tim Peeler claims he chased away from his North Carolina mountain house last week. Peeler told NewsChannel36 in Charlotte that he first heard unusual grunting and screeching outside his home. When he investigated the sounds, he said, he got close enough to the unwelcome intruder to poke it with a stick. "The thing was 10 feet tall with beautiful hair, yellowish hair, and a yellow beard," the mountain man recalled.

According to Peeler, who lives on top of a mountain near Casar, N.C., the creature left, but it later returned. He yelled at his unwanted visitor again, he said, and it finally took off. Peeler also noticed the beast had six fingers. Peeler reported that the "beast" approached his dogs and somehow got wrapped up in their chains. "I rough-talked him and said, 'You get away from here.'"

WBTV.com said that Peeler called 911 at 3 a.m. and filed a suspicious person report. "It looked like a giant ape with a man's face, and it made a whistling sound," he told the 911 dispatcher. He was about nine or 10 feet tall with real long arms."

In his 911 call, Peeler added that "This thing was messin' with my dogs and tryin' to get to my back porch. If he comes too close to me, I'm gonna kill him. "Would I get in any trouble if I shot and killed this beast, this animal or whatever it is?"

That's a good question, and one the 911 dispatcher couldn't answer.

Can you believe it? Bigfoot is blonde! This is one of the better stories I've read in a long time. I now know that Bigfoot is blonde, 10 feet tall, and has six fingers on each hand. My favorite part of this article is when the redneck says he "rough talked" Bigfoot. Because when a stubby hick rough talks Bigfoot with lines like "You get away from here," Bigfoot knows to run. Who wants to mess with a redneck with a stick and slightly aggressive statements?

Oh and let me clear something up. If you see Bigfoot you shoot him. I think that should be a given. If you see a 10 foot monkey man walk out of the woods; you don't shake a stick at him, you kill him. Otherwise, you're just another crazy hick.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

This Seems Uncomfortable

"Cyclists around the globe jumped out of their trousers and on to their bikes for the World Naked Bike Ride last Saturday, an annual gathering in which bikers celebrate the human body while protesting against cars and oil dependence. Bike riders disrobed in demonstrations in Mexico City, Montreal, Madrid, Paris and Cape Town, South Africa, among other cities, in eye-catching parades intended to draw attention to cycling rights and environmental plights, like the ongoing oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico."

This is why I'm not such a big fan of people. This is a stupid thing to do. Why do these people ride their bikes naked? Why? It's simple. It's because they're stupid and they think that when they ride their bikes through NYC other people, clothed people, will think about their cause. There is no way anyone thinks about anything other than the gross naked person they just saw. When they tell the story later they will say, "I saw a naked guy on a bike. It looked really uncomfortable." So good work guys. Everyone now knows that they should pay attention to some policy about religion or something or maybe it was a restriction on rights for your testicles to be free. Could have been gay rights. Who knows?

Thursday, June 3, 2010

2K Sports

The common practice of sports video games is to place the hottest sports star of the year on the cover of the next year's video game. People like Chris Drury (for NHL 2K2) and Kobe (NBA 2K10) grace the covers. But something very interesting is happening with the upcoming 2K11. A retired player will be on the cover and what retired player is that? Michael Jordan, of course.

Michael Jordan defines what basketball means to me. I mean Space Jam came out when I was 8 years old and if that doesn't win over a generation of youngsters, I don't know what will. But his reign is well over on the court. Someone else should really be on the cover.

Why not Lebron?

Is it because he could potentially be the most overrated player of all time? Fine.

How about Kobe?

He was on the cover last year. Fair enough.

Well then there is Rajon Rondo.

He isn't famous enough yet.

I guess Michael Jordan is the only way to go. He really was that good. I'm sure he will be making money off of this deal because his shoes, car dealerships, basketball team, restaurants, endorsements, and motor sports team just aren't pulling in enough.

Speaking of endorsements; I need to get myself one of those lay flat collars. I don't want any bacon neck action.