PABS

Have you ever heard something so stupid that it causes your body to ache? Every now and then I see someone like Snookie on television or I see the genius product “Micro S’mores” and my soul twists up. By the way if you haven’t seen “Micro S’mores” then I urge you to watch the commercial

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-EGA_8NsHc. It’s just so stupid that I can’t keep it to myself.

Anyway, the most recent thing I’ve heard that hurts me down to my core is the “Pet Anti Breeding System” (PABS). This is essentially a chastity belt for dogs. As if it isn’t enough to neuter and spay our pets but now, Mr. Dexter Blanch feels (creator of PABS), it is necessary to humiliate them. This chastity belt is not just a pair of shorts for your pup but an insane 8-lock mechanism that strap the dogs in. There is also a mesh pad for the heated lady dog, which the owner will have to rinse out. This is for the dog owner that wants to take nasty to the next level because picking up shit is just not disgusting enough.

The actual PABS slogan is “When the heat is on, lock it, and stop it.”

I believe that this product was created because Blanch hates both people and dogs. If the product itself isn’t evidence enough I have information that should convince you.

Two years ago Blanch was shot in the arm by his beagle. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED. This dog defied all logic by shooting a gun without the use of thumbs. Blanch nearly lost his arm from the incident and claims that the “accident” gave him a lot of time to think about a product that would help pets and their owners.

I really don’t see the connection between a dog that does something miraculously evil and a chastity belt. Unless getting shot by his dog led to ridicule by people, for obvious reasons, which led to a two year long plot to humiliate both dogs and people with the most disgusting and ridiculous product for dogs ever created…