Comedian to Watch

Awkward, weird, short, make you think kind of jokes. Steven Wright is the king and the father of this style. He paved the way for comedians like Mitch Hedberg and Demetri Martin.

Check him out through the links below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_1HYUyhujl4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iVjVt98iHkQ&feature=related

Sexist

Like other freshman lawmakers, newly elected Florida Rep. Frederica Wilson ran for Congress on a vow to change Washington. But her first order of business has nothing to do with health care, education or the usual mix of issues that come up in the early days of a new Congress.

Instead, Wilson's first goal is to overturn a rule that blocks her from wearing a hat on the House floor. The freshman Democrat is pressing incoming House Speaker John Boehner to overturn the rule, which dates back to the 1800s, or at least to make an exception for her. But it's unclear whether Boehner -- who, in any event, will likely have plenty of priorities ahead of a rule-change request from a member of the opposition party -- could do anything, shy of a full floor vote, to overturn the House's hat ban.

You see, Wilson doesn't own just a hat or two. By her count, the former Florida state House member owns at least 300 different hats, including custom-made sequined cowboy hats in virtually every color of the rainbow. Her hat collection is so massive, it takes up an entire room of her house, per the Miami New Times (which offers a photo gallery of Wilson's 25 best hats). "I've been wearing them almost 30 years," Wilson tells Politifact. "It's like a fetish."

Wilson is rarely photographed sans hat, but last week, she was forced to remove one of the more demure chapeaus in her collection, a black sequined cowboy hat, when posing for her congressional ID. The same thing happened when Wilson posed for an official group photo with other freshman members of Congress.

"It's sexist," Wilson told the Miami Herald's Lesley Clark. The chamber's hat ban "dates back to when men wore hats" Wilson explained, "and we know that men don't wear hats indoors, but women wear hats indoors. Hats are what I wear. People get excited when they see the hats. Once you get accustomed to it, it's just me. Some people wear wigs, or high-heel shoes or big earrings or pins. This is just me."

So far Boehner hasn't responded to Wilson's request. And his office is unsure whether Boehner can waive the rule. A spokesman for the House Rules Committee tells Politifact he believes the hat ban would likely have to be overturned by a vote of the full House.

"It's just me. It's who I am. Nothing will change that. I am who I am. I love hats. I am a hat. I AM HAT!"

What is your problem Frederica? Is it that your name is Frederica? You're going to have to move past that or change your name. And I hate to burst your bubble but you are in fact, not a cowboy. No, I'm pretty sure a black woman from Florida is as far from being a cowboy as you can get. Not to mention that cowboys knew when they went indoors, they take their hats off.

I would agree this is sexist though. It' as outrageous as asking women to wear restrictive and restraining shoes when they go to work, like a man would. But what if a woman happens to be a sandal person? They have hundreds of different sandals and flip flops that fill a whole room. It's who they are dammit. What will they do!?

Oh, they get over it because they're at work. Get it Freddy?

itunes holdouts

There are still a few artists that have refused to release their music on itunes, such as AC/DC, Garth Brooks, Kid Rock, Def Leppard, and Bob Seger. I have always wondered why these artists have not allowed their music to be sold on itunes and in case you were wondering too I have the answers.

Garth Brooks
Brooks walked away from his career near the height of his fame, so the fact he doesn't allow iTunes to sell his catalog isn't surprising. "They truly think that they're saving music," Brooks said in 2009. "My hat's off to them. I looked at them right across the table with all the love in the world and told them they were killing it. And until we get variable pricing, until we get album-only (downloads), then they are not a true retailer for my stuff, and you won't see my stuff on there — with all the love in the world. That's nothing that they haven't heard, either."

Bob Seger
Seger's early catalog isn't even available on CD. "We would love to have our catalogs included on iTunes," his manger Punch Andrews told Rolling Stone in 2008. "But the record labels have chosen to disregard the provisions of their record contracts, which never contemplated this form of song licensing." There are rumors he's finally going to release his first four albums on CD sometime next year, but they will probably only be available in physical stores.

Def Leppard
Def Leppard's dispute with iTunes is more about money than artistic principles. "We signed our deal with Universal back in 1979; this obviously wasn't part of the deal," singer Joe Elliott told Blender in July. "Once a deal is in place that pays a royalty that we believe is fair, we'll have music for sale on iTunes. We're trying to be civil about it, and we're hoping our label and ex-label work together so that our fans can buy our music online."

AC/DC
The Australian hard rock gods don't even have a greatest hits CD, so allowing their songs to be on iTunes would be a big stretch. "Maybe I'm just being old-fashioned, but this iTunes, God bless 'em, it's going to kill music if they're not careful," AC/DC frontman Brian Johnson told Reuters in 2008. "It's a...monster, this thing. It just worries me. And I'm sure they're just doing it all in the interest of making as much...cash as possible. Let's put it this way, it's certainly not for the...love, let's get that out of the way, right away."

Kid Rock
Kid Rock managed to score a gigantic hit in 2008 with "All Summer Long" despite the track (along with all of his major-label albums) not being on iTunes. He thinks it forced fans to buy the album, making him even more money. "I have trouble with the way iTunes says everybody's music's worth the same price," Rock said earlier this year. "I don't think that's right, there's music it out there that's not worth a penny. They should be giving it away, or they should be making the artist pay people to listen to it. There's other stuff that's worth a little more. That's the great thing about America, we're not scared to pay what something's worth."



Ok I get it now. Def Leppard and Bog Seger are so old they didn't even forsee CD's, let alone the internet, and AC/DC is somehow even older. They remind me of grandparents that don't really get what the internet is so they assume it's black magic. How can itunes kill music Mr. Johnson? Please elaborate with a point beyond that of which the love isn't there, like it is in a Coconuts or Sam Goody.

I suppose you could answer my question with Garth Brooks' statement. A fair enough reason to be opposed to itunes. That's how artists make their money, selling the whole album and not just a few songs at a time. But you know how you could get people to buy your whole CD Garth? Don't include bad songs. Nothing pisses people off more than when they spend their money and get an awful product. And that is exactly what a 15-song album with 2 good songs on it is. You're old Garth.

But Kid Rock makes a very good point. He should be paying me to listen to his music because as he said, Americans aren't afraid to pay what something is worth. Pay up cowboy.

Poop Freeze

What do you do when your dog poops in the yard?

Freeze it.

Why?

Because it's nicer to pick up cold poop.


Available at http://www.amazon.com/Poop-Freeze-Aerosol-Spray/dp/B000CMKPDI

Comedian to Watch

This gentleman goes by the name of Bill Burr. You may know him from the racial draft, the world series of dice, or his great stand-up comedy. I've actually had the opportunity to meet and speak with him and he's a great guy.

Also, there are only a few comedians that have material in their act that gets me upset because I didn't say first and Bill Burr is one of them. Check out some of his stuff through the links below.



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imZ52DHBtug

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LnOg01N1u3w&feature=related

That's a Little Much

(AP) DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. (AP) - A Florida woman and her boyfriend have been charged with trying to sell her infant grandson for $30,000.

Florida Department of Law Enforcement agents arrested 45-year-old Patty Bigbee and 42-year-old Lawrence Works on Friday in Daytona Beach after they met with an agent posing as a buyer. Both were charged with illegal sale or surrender of a child, and Bigbee was also charged with communication fraud.

FDLE agent Wayne Ivey said an investigation began last month after an informant told authorities the woman was trying to sell the baby. Authorities say the woman originally wanted $75,000 but was talked down to $30,000.

The child's mother is currently incarcerated on unrelated charges.

The infant has been turned over to child welfare officials.

Authorities said they didn't know if Bigbee or Works had an attorney.



I've said it before and I'll say it again. You can't trust an old lady, they're shifty. Just look into their eyes and you know they are plotting something. It could be about how they are going to "accidentally" cut you in line, or how they will "mistakenly" stomp their cane on your foot, or they could be plotting to sell your children.

The most disappointing thing about this situation is the old lady couldn't even make the sale. If you're selling your grandson you might as well do it big. Don't wimp out. I bet she'd pay full price for a "solid gold" necklace from Chinatown too.

Unless it's the kid's fault for crying too much about going into white slavery. If so, that is just outright inconsiderate. Doesn't this kid care about his grandmother's well being at all? 75 G's can get granny a lifetime of all you can eat buffets at Golden Corral and all the Pall Malls she will ever need.

Bad Cop

(AP) JACKSON, Wyo. (AP) - Officials in Wyoming want people to be on the lookout for a black box with white lettering that says "METH," after a deputy lost a stash used to train police dogs.

Teton County sheriff's Sgt. Lloyd Funk said the deputy accidentally left the box on a bumper after a canine training exercise Oct. 27. It contained nearly an ounce of methamphetamine. The deputy drove off with the drugs perched on the vehicle.

The Jackson Hole News & Guide reported that officers literally trying to get drugs off the street haven't been able to find the box. Anyone with information is being asked to call the sheriff's office.

Sheriff Jim Whalen says someone possessing the amount of meth that was lost would face a felony charge. Whalen says his office is taking action to make sure the mistake isn't repeated.



I've made my fair share of mistakes at my job but I don't think any have made people nearly as happy, or want to scratch their skin off their face, as much as this mistake. Bravo law enforcement. You were playing with a big ol box o drugs and lost it. If you care about your things you have to take care of them! Didn't your mother ever teach you that. And it was an ounce. I don't know a whole lot about meth, evident by my full set of teeth and my lack of burn marks, but I'm pretty sure an ounce is overkill. But the mistake won't be repeated, which is French for we are going to fire this imbecile faster than Lindsay Lohan grabs the crack pipe after rehab.




By the way... Do you know how I know meth is a terrible drug? I search "meth" in google images and feel nauseous. Try it out, it's a good time.