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(AP) PHOENIX (AP) - An Arizona woman accidentally glued an eye shut when she mistook super glue for her eye drops. KSAZ-TV said Irmgard Holm of Glendale had cataract surgery a year ago. She was reaching for what she thought was one of her half-dozen eye drop medications. The burning sensation told her immediately something was seriously wrong.

Holm said the eye drops and the super glue bottles are nearly identical.

After putting super glue in her eye, Holm says she tried washing it out. But the quick-drying substance did what it was supposed to and sealed her eye shut.

Holm got to the hospital and staff cut off the hardened glue covering her eye. Once the eye was opened, doctors washed it out to prevent major damage.




Easy mistake if you keep all your tiny bottles together. But given that you're just about blind and the bottles are nearly identical how about you go ahead and keep the eye drops in the bathroom cabinet and the super glue under the kitchen sink. Or just don't do a lot of work with super glue at all. I'm just spit balling here. Maybe don't keep your Krazy Glue, Visine, and Sweet Breath on the same shelf is all I'm saying.

Straight Killer

BRADENTON, Fla., Oct. 4 (UPI) -- A Florida man used water guns and water balloons to spray weed killer on his neighbor's plants because he was owed money for drugs, police said.

Bradenton police said Paul Ewing, 35, was pulled over Thursday for driving with a suspended license and admitted he had been spraying his neighbor's flowers and bushes with Roundup weed killer because he was upset about money the neighbor owed him for drugs, the Bradenton (Fla.) Herald reported Monday.

Ewing, who estimated the landscaping damage at $250, said he used water guns to spray plants in the front yard and threw water balloons into the back yard.

Police said the incidents took place from May 1 to July 1.

Ewing was charged with criminal mischief with property damage and released from Manatee County jail after posting $500 bail.

This guy is real gangster, look at that face. Wait a minute though. Doesn't weed killer come in a spray bottle? Well let's give the guy the benefit of the doubt, maybe he bought the economy size and there was no sprayer. Clearly the necessary action was to purchase a super soaker AND water balloons. I bet he even held the super soaker sideways when he shot the plants. And we all know that drug addicts don't care about anything more than their gardens. This is the perfect revenge. Plus he took two months to do it. Just one water balloon of roundup per week I guess. That way the guy that owes him money thinks that his plants are dying because of his own negligence. A much tastier revenge than if here were to simply rip the flowers out of the ground or let's say if he just punched the guy in the face and demanded his money.

THUG LIFE.

Centennifail

It was going to be a momentous day. A veritable treasure trove of local history, preserved and pristine within a time capsule that was buried beneath Pittsburgh, 100 years ago, just waiting to be opened! Then they opened it and discovered what sounds like the bottom of a dank, muddy river.

The Pittsburgh Tribune-Review says the copper container was removed from the cornerstone of the 100-year-old Soldiers & Sailors Memorial Hall & Museum in the Oakland section of Pittsburgh last week. But inside, officials found 11 cents in change, two lead soldiers, a tattered silk flag - and rotted news pulp, Confederate currency and photographs.

I imagine that pile smelled something fierce too.

But what happened? Apparently, when this particular time capsule was buried, 100 years ago, the top was never soldered shut and all sorts of moisture got inside. City officials were undeterred however, and plan to seal a new capsule, with new junk, for a new unsealing 100 years from now. [SFGate]

What's one more disappointment to a dreary city like Pittsburgh? I'm sure they were "undeterred" from this opportunity that only presents itself once every hundred years. Shake it off Pittsburghians (Pittsburghers?). There's always next year... or 3010. Just make sure when you bury your time capsule you are as generous as the previous people of Pittsburgh were with the whopping eleven cents they left!

So don't get down Pittsburghalites. There are good things about your city. You're the second largest city in Pennsylvania. That's... something! Plus you have great sports teams to rally around except for your baseball team, which is suggestively gay and awful. But there's still always Sid the Kid to lead the Penguins and Ben Rapelisberger to lead the Stealing of Virginity.

**and Ben Rothlisberger to lead the Steelers.

Nice Undies

(AP) PHOENIX (AP) - A Phoenix jail inmate was left wearing nothing but pink socks after scaling five fences in an escape attempt before he was captured. The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office says 24-year-old Clayton Thornburg suffered cuts on parts of his body since some of the Durango Jail's fences are 15 feet high and topped with razor wire.

Jail officials said the razor wire had stripped away Thornburg's jail uniform and pink underwear by the time he reached the last fence Thursday morning. He was treated at the Maricopa County Medical Center.

Authorities said Thornburg likely will face an additional felony charge of escape, which can add up to five years to an inmate's sentence. They said Thornburg was in jail for an extensive number of property crime charges.

He suffered cuts on "parts of his body." Hmm... wonder what parts got cut. As if getting caught after your escape from jail isn't bad enough, they have to let everyone know that he was wearing pink underwear and socks. The nice reporters at Phoenix wanted to make sure that people knew, this inmate doesn't just wear socks and underwear. He wears pink socks and underwear. Forget about how he escaped, the guy had pink underwear.

Little Business

(AP) PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - A county official in Oregon has apologized after a 7-year-old's business venture was soured because health inspectors shut down her lemonade stand.

Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen, the county's top elected official, said Thursday that running a lemonade stand is a "classic iconic American kid thing to do."

He says he called Julie Murphy's mother, Maria Fife, to offer his apology and says she appreciated it.

Fife helped her daughter set up a lemonade stand last week at a local arts fair in northeast Portland. They had to pack up and leave after being approached by two inspectors who said the stand lacked a license.

Cogen says while the inspectors were doing their job, the rules are meant for professional food service operators. He adds he ran lemonade stands as a child.

Serves that kid right. What if someone had bought lemonade mixed on the side of the street and got some dirt in their dixie cup. I bet her ice cubes even had little dark specks in them. Smug little girl deserved to be shut down. Little kids think they can just do whatever they want and get away with it. Then they expect an apology after they do something that threatens public safety. I hope they trashed her stand after they shut her down.