More Bacon Please

Sizzling-Hot Market for 'Bacon-trepreneurs'

-Ed Mazza

(March 1) -- It's easier than ever to bring home the bacon.

Salaries may be flat, unemployment is still high, but bacon is turning up in everything from candy bars to breath mints, even as first lady Michelle Obama and health officials talk about the growing problem of America's growing waistline.

Even restaurants are busy bringing on the grease: A recent study by the Chicago-based research firm Mintel found that menu items with bacon at both fast-food and full-service restaurants are up 26.5 percent since 2005.

Tired of the same old chocolate bunny? Try a bacon caramel Easter egg, available at Vosgeschocolate.com.

"Why not?" says Justin Esch, one of the self-described "bacon-trepreneurs" behind Bacon Salt. "Bacon is the most powerful force in the world. It's not even a joke."

He's very serious when he says this, but what would you expect from the man who helped create Baconaise, bacon lip balm and bacon-flavored envelopes?

"It turns out you can even add bacon to chocolate and make it better," says this bacon evangelist.

It's true -- Vosges Haut-Chocolat sells high-end chocolates with chunks of crispy applewood bacon. And it's not some odd item designed solely to draw attention, either.

"It's turned out to be our best seller," says owner-chocolatier Katrina Markoff. Her bacon chocolates outsell her other top treats by a 2-1 margin.

She also sells bacon chocolate pancake mix and bacon caramel toffee. Next up: a bacon twist on the classic chocolate Easter egg.

"I'm doing a soft bacon and caramel for Easter," she said. "It's like a bacon and eggs thing."

Bacon blended into chocolate is barely the beginning of this fatty fad. One San Diego restaurant, The Linkery, actually has an ice cream sandwich called the Lardo with chunks of candied bacon in it. You can begin your mornings with bacon-flavored coffee and cap your evening with a shot of Bakon Vodka.

And then there's the Bacon Explosion, a thick roll of bacon and sausage wrapped in bacon.

"I think bacon is popular because it's arguably the most delicious food of all time," said David Wahl, marketing manager of the novelty firm Archie McPhee. Bacon-themed items are the backbone -- or is it the fatback? -- of the operation, with items ranging from bacon-flavored jellybeans and mints to bandages and wallets that look as if they were fashioned from strips of the delicious meat.

Those products, he says, are routinely among their best-selling items.

"In our health-conscious society, bacon has almost taken on the edge of a rebel food," he says. "Really enjoying bacon and advertising that fact is almost daring someone to tell you you're wrong."

Bacon even has the power to lead vegetarians astray.

Markoff, the chocolatier, was a vegetarian herself when she developed her "baconized" candy bar. As she searched for the right blend of bacon and chocolate, she began to sample her creations, telling herself it was just for test purposes.

She quickly discovered she wasn't alone.

"It's amazing how many people are in the closet about their die-hard love for bacon," she said.

Bacon Salt's Esch agrees.

"It's pretty well known that bacon is the gateway meat," he deadpans. "That's how you bring them back in."

I love bacon as much as the next guy but come on!

Ok sit down America, we need to talk. It's not easy to say this but... You have an eating disorder. When you start your day with a cup of bacon with bacon pancakes, because breakfast must taste like bacon for every bite and sip, and then seriously talk about wrapping bacon in bacon then it's time to reevaluate yourself as a human being.

The only time the discussion on dipping bacon in chocolate should ever come up is after your third or fourth bong rip. And how much of a fat alcoholic do you have to be to be drinking bacon vodka!?

That said I would like to reiterate the fact that I love bacon and while I disagree with baconaise and bacon ice cream sandwiches; I think that bacon envelopes is a fucking sweet idea. I have never licked an envelope and been able to think about anything other than possibly dying like George Costanza's wife or the awful taste, so bring on the bacon envelopes.