No One is Safe!

Remember how everything causes cancer and nothing is good for you?

I remember when I was a kid and the people inside the tv said, “No more Lays potato chips because they cause anal leakage and cancer.” I was more concerned with the anal leakage. The next cancerous food was eggs, but then eggs were good for me, then they caused cancer again, and now they are back to just being eggs. Then they said men get cancer because they eat steak but they can’t eat tofu because that actually has estrogen in it, so that’s no good either.

I’m exhausted with being told things are not good for me. If it is less cancerous than a cigarette then don’t bother. I know I’m still going to eat steak and fully enjoy every bite regardless of the “danger” I am putting myself in and it seems to me that steaks are still pretty popular. If people are willing to stand outside of a club to rip a rod or two I think that the Today Show’s new weekly list of cancerous items are pretty worthless to nearly everyone. (Matt Lauer is a creep by the way)

But it isn’t the lecher host of the Today Show that is warning the public. It is the state of Maine. Maine is, potentially, going to have a large non-removable cancer warning printed on all cell phones sold within the state, following the lead of European countries. (When the hell did Maine become the first in line behind trendsetting European countries?) The warning would state that it is unsafe to have a cell phone near your body.

It’s fine to be safe with things like cigarettes. Cigarettes have no practical use unless you’re looking for a nice cough and even now plenty of people smoke. This warning is not going to accomplish a thing. I’m sorry Maine. I love your lobsters, your toothpick factory, your excessive amount of light towers, I love that you have a state cat and it is the “Maine coon cat”, and all of your pine trees but I don’t like this law. Nothing will stop people from using cell phones.

What would we do, use a land-line?

Yeah, right.

Try telling anyone in the corporate world that they can’t use their blackberry and see how that goes. Maybe tell the app obsessed people, with their i phones, to use the house phone?

Nice try Maine but I’d stick to the lobster thing.