Beauty Shots

According to a statistic I heard about from a friend of mine, who said they heard from the t.v., one in every three relationships right now started from an online dating site. I believe it. I know that that since I registered with the proper authorities to date I've been contacted by the dating bureau once every quarter about where I met my girlfriend. They are very thorough.

Well, given that these online dating sites have been flourishing (according to someone), what better time to release the camera that erases all flaws.

This is the magazine cover camera. Everyone can be a cover girl!

While I find this to be a cool feature, I think it can be a little misleading. The wrinkle eraser could turn a Coca-Cola junkie, chain smoking, prune faced maniac into a bright eyed, white smiled, smooth skinned princess. This camera could turn Patty and Selma into Jessica Rabbit and I don't think that will make for a lot of happy first dates for online daters.

Best of luck to the online dating world with this little gem on the market.

New Jokes in New York City

All new jokes in an an all new city. This is my performance at Laugh Lounge.

Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-Rer-Z-RH4

Love Seats

For pooping with your partner.

I came across this little gem while I was out last night at a restaurant/hookah bar. There is no one I know or care enough about to ever use the love seats with.

I have decided there are three scenarios that exist with this bathroom. One is two bros (or a girl and her she-bro) are forced to rub thighs while they flex it out. Plus side: there can be a high five celebration for a job well done or there is support for when things don't go as well as planned. Down side: extraordinarily disgusting.

The second scenario is a couple can share an experience together like no other. In fact, the couple can hold hands the entire time they are in the bathroom, depending on how good one may be at unfastening belts and pants with one hand. Plus side: gazing into your loved ones eyes and understanding them in a time few couples can understand. Down side: no one ever needs to be this close to their boyfriend/girlfriend while they release the concentrated evil that is inside of them.

The third and, in my opinion, best scenario is the stranger session. This would be two people who have never met, who are then forced to share an experience that they never thought they'd share with the closest of people in their lives. It is my favorite because it embodies my favorite sort of awkwardness. I imagine that people would attempt to be polite and hold in their gas, struggling to release a silent fart. It would be as silent a bathroom session could be with an occasional subdued cough. Upside: a great adventure with a new friend. Downside: exceptionally horrid experience with a person you hope to never see again.

I don't know which experience this establishment had planned for when they installed this porcelain pair but it fascinates me to no end.

Lost Stars

Ever wonder what happens to our beloved childhood television stars?

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus is what happens.

Steve Urkel (Jaleel White) is Dr. Terry McCormick in the film of the century.

This is one of those movies that makes one wonder how or why it was made. Please watch the trailer through the link below. It's a guilty pleasure I need to share with the world.

And remember, "Whoever wins... WE LOSE!"

http://www.movieweb.com/movie/mega-shark-vs-crocosaurus/trailer

For what it's worth I think the crocosaurus would win.

Brilliant

The best answer to a test question I have seen. I wish I had been clever to write an answer like this while I was in school. There were more than a few math questions I didn't know the answer to...

Good job Peter.