Damn Cleaners

FORT WALTON BEACH — A 63-year-old man was arrested July 13 on charges of battery.

On June 29, the man went into Aunt Susan's Laundry on Hollywood Boulevard and asked the woman working if he could show her some stains on his clothing and the woman agreed, according to an Okaloosa County Sheriff's report.

The man also asked for Shout Triple-Acting stain remover to spray on his clothes. The woman handed him the bottle, which had only a small amount of remover left.

The man became angry and yelled at the woman, "How are you going to get the (expletive) stain out? You guys didn't get it out last time!"

The woman said her manager could bring in another bottle of stain remover, but the man continued to yell obscenities and curse at the woman.

The man also picked up the stain remover bottle and threw it at the woman hitting her in the leg causing the liquid to spill onto the floor.

The man was later contacted by phone. He told deputies he was on his way out of town.

When the deputy requested the man return or he would get an arrest warrant the man stated, "Do your warrant then!"

Well that was silly. How is Auntie Susan going to get the stain out if you spilled the Shout!? You can't get mad. Shout is the number one stain remover! I'm sure that even though the bottle didn't have much liquid left that there was another bottle or two in the back. And "shout it out" is just their slogan in case you were confused. You aren't supposed to throw the bottle and yell, doesn't work that way.

You should probably learn to pick your battles. Yes dry cleaners are annoying, don't get stains out, and break the buttons on shirts a lot but maybe don't get arrested for a stain. Just a thought.

Comedian to Watch

This is Myq (sounds like Mike) Kaplan, a BU alum. Weird name and a dorky guy but very funny. Check out the videos "Squares or Rectangles," "Fighting Ignorance," and his Last Comic Standing performance on his web page.

http://myqkaplan.com/

Cabernet From Cleavage Valley

There’s now a perfect gift for the girl who has everything -- including a desire to secretly drink while simultaneously getting a breast lift, the New York Daily News reported Thursday.

The Wine Rack, a sports bra with a plastic “bladder” that can hold an entire bottle of wine, is featured at the BaronBob.com website. “You won’t find this at Victoria’s Secret,” Paul Krasulja of BaronBob boasted to the paper.

“I don’t consider it fine looking lingerie. But it is a good looking piece.”

He won’t get many arguments about the good looking part. Basically the $29.95 device is a black sports bra with a polyurethane bladder inside and a drinking tube long enough to sip from. Add liquid, and the website promises you will “turn an A cup into double D’s.”

And where, exactly, would you want to sport this piece of equipment? The website suggests filling it with wine or cocktails and wearing it to “movies, concerts, ball games, even PTA meetings.”

Are you a lonely housewife who loves to drink and also wishes she had fuller breasts? Are you a high school girl that loves to be drunk at every social event and also really wants bigger boobs? Are you a female alcoholic looking for a way to drink and have larger ta ta's at the same time!? If so, then the "The Wine Rack" is for you!

I think that this product has a major flaw. The woman starts with double D's and as she gets drunker they go back down to A's. If everyone else is sober, then a man will sure as hell notice when a girl with double D's suddenly becomes flat chested.

But I do love that they are marketing this for women who are forced to go to sporting events they are pretending to like. Then there are the PTA meetings, which without a bottle of wine to slug down must be unbearable. Stupid kids, cutting into mommy's drinking.

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Comedian to Watch

The comedian this week is Jim Gaffigan and if you haven't seen him yet then now is your chance. This guy is a seasoned veteran and it shows. He's had several spots on t.v. and in movies along with a ton of comedy specials. Below are two links to his comedy on youtube. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-o-u4IwXkbE&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1B59KNDH0o&feature=related