Poor Conan

Great news everybody! Conan O'Brien is finally coming back to television. We can see him soon

on TBS, better known these days as the Tyler Perry network.

One of two things is going to happen. The first possibility is that Conan will bring TBS to life and help the network become more legitimate. The second option is that Conan will start hanging out with George Lopez, which will lead him to either kill himself or forget how to be funny and get fired again.

TBS is a syndication network with some minority programming. It is like a graveyard of television. Conan, I don't know what you were thinking when you made this deal but godspeed to you sir. Hey, at least you didn't end up on TNT.

Couple of Things to Watch

Today was very interesting. I saw one of the coolest visual effects videos I've seen in a long time. It's a cool take on retro video games crossed with modern New York City, called "Pixels." It's one of those things that made me happy to watch... unfortunately I also saw THE MOST horrifying and disturbing movie trailer I've ever seen. The movie is called "The Human Centipede." I saw the trailer about 12 hours ago and I can't get the images out of my head. This movie is like a feature film version of two girls one cup crossed with Hostel. I don't understand why someone wrote the script, why someone read the script, or why someone decided to make the movie. There is a group of sick and twisted people involved with this production. I've put the links to the videos below. The first video is the awesome video game mash up video and, if you're up to it, the second is the Hollywood's demented flavor of 2010.

http://www.onemoreproduction.com/video/1/210.html

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/independent/thehumancentipede/

Confederate History Month

-Mara Gay

For nearly a decade, Virginia has quietly declined to mark its secession from the union. But on Tuesday -- days before the 150th anniversary of the outbreak of the Civil War -- Gov. Bob McDonnell declared April as Confederate History Month in Virginia for the first time since 2001.

The Proclamation, written in formal tones and posted on the Republican governor's Web site, declares Confederate history something "all Virginians can appreciate," but critics noted it fails to mention slavery.

"It is important for all Virginians to reflect upon our Commonwealth's shared history, to understand the sacrifices of the Confederate leaders, soldiers and citizens during the period of the Civil War, and to recognize how our history has led to our present," the proclamation says.

I know the argument. The Civil War wasn't about slavery. Confederates weren't just slave owners, they were people. They didn't all believe slavery was right... but most did .

It's bad enough that South Carolina is still flying the confederate flag on their capital building but now this. What were you thinking McDonnell? Did you know the President is a black guy? He might not be down with this.

Typically when you disrespect, degrade, oppress and enslave an entire race it's probably a good idea to not bring that up very often, let alone remembering it for an entire month. And, Virginia, when you talk about the confederacy (believe it or not) you're bringing these things up.

Oh wait, I forgot, you have conveniently left that part out of your history. Confederates are a lot better when you leave out the whole slavery thing. I mean it's like Hitler and the Nazis. All they did was promote nationalism and help a nation grow to it's greatest potential... if you forget about the holocaust that is.

Hit Out of Nowhere

Last night the Philadelphia Eagles secured fourth place in the 2011 season of the NFC East. I say this without bias too. I am in no way a fan of any team in the NFC East. Fuck the Giants, fuck the Eagles, fuck the Redskins, and fuck the Cowboys. I am a Buffalo Bills fan and three of those teams have beat the Bills in four different Super Bowls. But you know what team didn't beat the Bills? The Eagles.

This is because of stupid decisions like trading your quarterback, who leads your franchise in every statistic that matters, to a division rival that has the fourth overall pick in the draft. Say goodbye to Philadelphia, Donovan, and hello to an organization that still has a running back, that's going to pick up a bad ass safety by the name of Eric Berry, and has a new coach with a couple rings already on his fingers.

It's just too bad for Jason Campbell that the Redskins made this trade without telling him. Dick move Washington.

"What current (soon-to-be-former?) Redskins quarterbackJason Campbell(notes) now knows is that his team didn't think enough of him to let him know when they dropped the hammer on the Donovan McNabb(notes) trade. Campbell, who's been Washington's primary quarterback since 2007, found out about the trade when he got a phone call from John Keim of the Washington Examiner just after the deal was consummated.

Me: Did you hear about what happened?

Jason: What?

Me: The Redskins traded for Donovan.

Jason: Really? Ummm ... I didn't know that, man.

Me: I'm sorry I had to be the one who told you. I can't believe they didn't tell you.

Jason: No, that's the first I heard of it. ... I'd better go call my agent.

When I called back later, it went to voice mail. His mailbox was full."

-David Farrar

Mommy and Me

Of all the luck: Denard Span hits his own mother with foul ball

By 'Duk

It seemed strange enough that a foul ball hit by Denard Span(notes) would fly into the stands and hit a woman who was wearing his jersey from the Twins.

Then we found out the woman was Span's mother.

In what can only be described as a freak occurrence, the Minnesota outfielder found himself feeling about as bad as a son can possibly feel after he fouled off a pitch from the Yankees' Phil Hughes( into his mother's chest.

This is amazing. As a Yankees fan I think this is just perfect. You even try to hit a home run, fuck you, your mother is going to get pelted in the chest. Deal with it.

In all seriousness though what are the odds of this happening. Was he aiming? Does this guy have some underlying mommy issues? How did them mother take the hit emotionally?